My Vice

Once I ran after a robber
Who snatched a lady’s purse,
Then after a few short strides
My lungs seemed to burst
 
   —yet I kept on.
 
Then faced with a hundred steps
Upon a flight of stairs,
While I so laboriously trekked,
My chest burned and flared
 
   —still I went on.
 
Walking now seems so deprived
Of what once was leisure,
With all these needles pricking inside
My heart has to endure
 
   —but I carried on.
 
Then it was one rainy night,
My wife threatened to leave;
She said,
   “You made a chimney of our home,
      and I can hardly breathe!”
I am a man, but I can’t last
A life lived without her,
So I knelt down and made a pact
To both of us was fair;
As long as she won’t leave, I’d try
My very darndest best
To quit what she has hated most
And lay it down to rest
 
   —and that was when I stopped
      smoking cigarettes.